


Never going to lose You

by Nixpix



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Modern Era
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-10
Updated: 2016-04-10
Packaged: 2018-06-01 10:37:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6514675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nixpix/pseuds/Nixpix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are reasons why you should never let things go unsaid.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never going to lose You

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be a small Enjolras/Grantaire fic (probably just a couple of chapters). This is a story I started a very long time ago but didn't finish or post anywhere - so here it is, seeing the light of day at last. Oh, and expect a little angst from this one. Good reading.

 

“Well, when can you be there?” the sound of Enjolras’ raised voice stirred Grantaire from his slumber. In his dream he was buried deep into layer upon layer of soft blankets and warm sheets, with the familiar and comforting gleam of a golden figure beside him. When he woke however he came quick to the realisation that he was beneath a table with at least four or five bottles surrounding him. Memories from the previous night came in bits and pieces, but he did not need to remember very much besides Bahorel’s ringing laugh to realize that it had been a very intoxicated evening. Bahorel was always the most fun to get ridiculously wasted with. Grantaire stirred beneath the table and tried to wiggle himself out from under it. Enjolras was still speaking into his phone in a frenzy, quickly pacing up and down the upstairs room of the Musain, giving Grantaire very little attention. When Grantaire at last was free he dropped himself onto a chair next to the window in attempt to let the fresh morning air chase away the nausea. He took note of the clicking sound as Enjolras hung up his cellphone and silence roamed again. 

“There seems to be a problem? Do share” Grantaire smirked and let his head rest on the window-frame. There was only an annoyed scoff from Enjolras as he leaned on the table of which Grantaire had emerged from only moments before. “Don’t concern yourself with it” he mumbled and scrolled through his contacts. “Go on, Apollo. Tell me!” Grantaire turned back around in his chair so he could fully view Enjolras. “I’m feeling particularly concerned today” he added with an ever growing smirk. Enjolras only glared for a moment, and then continued his scrolling. “Suit yourself. I guess I’ll just go and down some wine instead. It’s better company then some” he teased and moved in his chair again. As Grantaire had predicted this got Enjolras’ attention and he almost felt the strike of the scowl Enjolras gave him. It was only an empty threat - not even Grantaire drank first thing in the morning, but it still worked splendidly to make Enjolras just a little more compliant. “Fine, just - don’t...” Enjolras started and fumbled his phone away. “Just... don’t say anything” he concluded and gazed off somewhere in the distance. _Oh_ , Grantaire thought, _something has gone wrong_. Enjolras had problems with speaking about failures, but speaking of them to Grantaire was just short of impossible. Grantaire just had this... look on him. That look made Enjolras never want to fail at anything. And then there was the commentary - if Grantaire just knew when to shut up it wouldn’t be half as hard. 

“The city paper wanted to do a story on us - our cause” Enjolras started explaining in a burdened voice. “Combeferre was supposed to meet them at their office in an hour for a meeting” Grantaire started to catch on now. “ _He can’t show_. So I called everyone else, and nobody can get into town in time” he words he spoke sounded like they ought to be hopeless, but Grantaire marveled at the way Enjolras made hopeless words sound hopeful. “I can’t go either” Enjolras demeanor changed and Grantaire raised a curious eyebrow. Enjolras suddenly looked ashamed or at the very least extremely bothered. “My father works in that building” he admitted and only half looked at Grantaire. He carefully noted at the back of his head the way Grantaire’s face didn’t actually change. No surprise, no malice, no pity. Enjolras had cut ties with the majority of his close family a long time ago, and to say that he avoided contact was to really understate the effort he made to stay clear of them. “You know like... a _thousand_ people, Apollo. Can really not even one of them go instead?” Grantaire smirked and started to feel his pockets for his phone and keys. Enjolras said nothing to this, just continued the dark glare form before. Naturally he had tried everyone. This was their chance to get their voices truly out there - and nobody could attend the meeting. The paper was going to drop them like they were on fire. “I have tried every single person in my contacts” Enjolras said under his breath, slowly threading his hand through his golden hair. 

“I could go”

First there was no reaction. It was as if Grantaire had not even said anything. Then Enjolras looked over at him very casually, but the casual look soon turned into a frown. Grantaire looked honest. “You can’t be serious. I need someone to make a good impression, someone who can represent our _cause_ and our _organisation_ \- I can’t just send _anybody_ ” the words tumbled out of him without much thought. “You can’t send anybody? - just anyone in your contacts” Grantaire scoffed with a snide smile plastered on his lips. From there on the air around them was on fire - much like their arguments during the meetings, but something was different. Grantaire was angry, and Enjolras was getting frustrated and annoyed over how Grantaire couldn’t understand his point. Of course Grantaire couldn’t be the face of their organisation - he didn’t even _believe_ in it. " _But I believe in you, and I’d be doing it for you"_  Grantaire said in an angry haze. _"I don’t want you to. I need someone I can trust on this. It has to go right"_ Enjolras wasn’t even listening to Grantaire anymore - actually he was hardly listening to himself anymore. If he had he would have been more watchful of his words, and been more aware of the look of pure horror on Grantaire’s face. Something withered inside Grantaire at the blink of an eye, at the uttering of just a few words. He gave a bitter laugh and looked away. Enjolras was still caught in his little world he entered when he became like this, a world were words did not _injure_. He hadn’t even begun to second-guess his words towards Grantaire until the other had cleared out of the Musain, and when he _did_ he slumped backwards into a chair with a long exhale. He made a mental note that he had to apologize to Grantaire once this meeting-matter was dealt with.

Enjolras wasn’t the kind of person who lost hope, and when he did he _fought_ it. He struggled and battled until hope was regained. He sat in his car, feeling his heartbeat in his throat as he drove closer to the building. It was a relatively new building and it stretched high above the roofs of many of the buildings around it. His father’s business had the lower levels and the city paper had the rest of the building, and just the thought of being in the same building with that man for a longer extent of time made his stomach turn. He pulled up on the parking lot and simply remained there for at least fifteen minutes before the ticking of the clock urged him to start moving towards the location of the meeting. However, before he could open the door and get out of his car his phone rang in his pocket. He silently thanked for the distraction - if he could speak to someone on the phone while moving through the lower levels that carried the name of his fathers business it would ease his mind. The name on the screen startled him slightly - Grantaire was requesting a video-call. He felt heat rise in his chest, he knew he had to apologize for his conduct earlier but he wasn’t ready yet. He didn’t know what to say yet. _I’m sorry Grantaire, I didn’t mean I can’t trust you. I actually secretly tremble every time you look at me and can’t stand to appear weak in front of you. You make me angrier than anyone else I know and it’s really annoying that I feel like a love-sick child whenever you’re around. So sorry about my tendencies to let my words run away from me._ No. Nope. Wasn’t going to happen. He still answered though, and after a few moments of silence as the video loaded Enjolras felt more out of breath than ever before. Then suddenly Grantaire appeared on the screen and Enjolras thought he was going to choke on his own spit. He was clean shaved, and his normal wild curls were tidy and slick against his neck. The smirk however was the same, and the gleam in his eyes shone in defiance. Behind him on the screen was the city papers name written out on a large sign. It took Enjolras a few seconds to completely understand what was happening and when he did he was met with Grantaire’s voice. “Don’t worry, oh fearless leader. I won’t embarrass you” and before Enjolras could say anything, positive or negative, Grantaire hung up the call. Enjolras slumped back into the drivers-seat and couldn’t keep the smile on his lips from spreading. Grantaire literally _hated_ this sort of thing - he remembered when Bahorel had to throw him over his shoulder and force him to attend a professional seminar for college. The words Grantaire had said which Enjolras had previously overlooked started to echo in his ears, _I’d do it for you_ , and suddenly he _really_ wanted to pick the phone back up and just do the whole situation at the Musain over - and this time he wouldn’t be a complete jerk. 

Enjolras drove back to his apartment and draped himself over his couch. Suddenly he couldn't _wait_ until he got to apologize to Grantaire, just to see how he would react. Would he smile? Would he be shocked? Selfish images of Grantaire's cheeks turning pink and how he coughed when he got embarrassed or nervous crept into his mind and he promptly shook them away. He shouldn't be like this. He repeated the words he had told Marius all those weeks ago; _nobody cares about your lonely soul_. _You can't split your attention Enjolras, you are completely devoted to the cause, don't dilly around with distractions._ Still, the low simmer in his stomach remained, and threatened to burst into full fledged butterflies at any thought of the dark haired man. His phone rang again and he almost recoiled at the speed he brought it to his ear, only to hear the panicked voice of Combeferre washing over him with apology upon apology. He was officially too late to get to the meeting in time, and he still wasn't even off the highway, and now the man was close to tears. To say he was _startled_ by Enjolras laughter at the other end of the line would be a grave understatement. "It's alright, my friend. Grantaire took care of it" Enjolras said when he quickly gathered his wits again. "Grantaire!? _Really_?" Combeferre went on for a few minutes with words of confusion, questions and doubts. "I suppose I shouldn't be that surprised" he concluded and Enjolras could hear that gentle smile so characteristic for the other. "I was surprised. Why shouldn't you be surprised?" Enjolras scoffed lightly as he decided to split his attention between 'Ferre on the other end, and the paperwork that needed to get done. "Because he's like this. He'll be damned if he doesn't do exactly what everyone thinks he won't. And for the record, I think he'll be the perfect fit for this assignment. He really does know how to handle people - _when he wants to_ " Enjolras smiled and nodded even though the other could not see it - and for that he was thankful, he wouldn't have known how to explain the adoration in the small smile on his otherwise stoic face. "I'll call you back up later, Enjolras. I'll try and get off of this highway sometime this _year_ " Combeferre sighed and with a hum from the other they both concluded their call. 

The next couple of hours passed with just uneventful paperwork and just a small constant tap of Enjolras foot showed sign of his impatience. He kept his phone by his desk, which was something completely new. He usually went as far as turning it off when he was working - but today he kept it within arms' length at all times. Enjolras had on multiple occasions during the hours tried to formulate a text message to Grantaire, but every time he got close to sending he put the phone back down. _You just want to know how he's doing. For the sake of the organisation._ Enjolras reasoned with himself and tapped his finger lightly at the empty space next to his phone. _Yea, right._ Enjolras groaned and cursed att that small voice in his head that bore Grantaire's voice. Enjolras ducked his head into his hands as the battle between the stern voice he recognized as his own and the one that sounded just too alike Grantaire's over if the fluttering in his chest was because they might finally have a big break for the organisation, or because of something else _entirely_. Enjolras was in the middle of his inner dispute when it was suddenly interrupted by the ringing of his phone. For the second time that day he answered before it had rung a second time and held it to his ear. "Aren't you working, Enj?" the voice on the other end laughed, obviously the laughter belonging to Courfeyrac. "Yes, I am. _Why_?" Enjolras answered quickly pulling his laptop closer to him, almost as if he wanted to prove the fact to himself. " _Wow_ and you answered your phone? Oh boy, who's call are _you_ waiting for?" the other snickered and Enjolras felt genuine temptation to end the call. " _Nonono_ , sorry I won't pry. Did everything work out?" he asked and Enjolras responded with a simple _Yea_. "Meeting at the Musain still on tonight, right?" Courfeyrac continued and again Enjolras responded with an absentminded _Yea_. "Okay _gotcha_ Enj. I won't keep the line busy in case your true love calls you up" Courfeyrac was laughing like crazy on the other end as Enjolras made a surprised welp at the comment. "You're not- _no wait_ \- _I'm_ not" but before he could get further the other had cut the line already. Enjolras sat unmoving for a slight second before he put the phone back down on the desk. Mind still haunted by a defiant smirk and dark curls. 

Another couple of hours passed and Enjolras had prepared everything for the evening's meeting at the Musain. The fact that he felt even the _slightest_ of aggravation at the fact that Grantaire hadn't called or texted him yet annoyed the leader ferociously. He had just shut the door and started to move down the stairs of his apartment-building when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He made a point of counting three rings before he snatched it up. Before he could help himself he cursed this action and quickly pressed the phone to his ear. "Grantaire!" Enjolras began but quickly quieted his voice before he promptly continued, "How did it go?" he spoke with a calm voice and did his best to cover up the silence right after having said the other's name. "I'll tell you all about it at the Musain, my golden leader" Grantaire hummed at the other end and Enjolras found himself having stopped moving at the sound of his voice. "Tell me now" he demanded and shook the strange feeling when Grantaire dubbed him _ **his** leader. _ "So _eager_. Wait for it like all good kids do" Grantaire laughed and Enjolras _really_ wished that his breathing would get back to normal. "I'll see you at the Musain, then?" Enjolras asked after some slight inner turmoil. He heard the other exhale and suddenly felt struck with worry - _what if one day he wouldn't show up? What if even Grantaire had a line that Enjolras would eventually cross, and then he'd be gone_. "Where else would I go? I need my daily dose of hope-for-the-future" Grantaire said with a lightness to his voice  that made all those doubts just fall away from Enjolras' mind. "I'll see you in - _what time is it?_ \- like thirty minutes?" Grantaire said with the usual laid back attitude that Enjolras had grown so accustomed to. "Meeting starts in _fifteen_ , Grantaire" Enjolras said with a clearly feign sternness and Grantaire's laughter spilled through the phone.  The tone of their voices were so different from what they had been that morning, and all at once Enjolras was overrun with the need to apologize for his words but as he opened his mouth to speak Grantaire spoke again. " _Well,_ I'll see you when I get there" and with an agreeing hum from Enjolras, Grantaire cut the line. 

That evenings meeting would be the first that Grantaire had ever missed. 


End file.
